Welcome to Martin Gordon’s official website

News

August: a new album is on the way. More soon!

Recordings are done – violas are vanquished, bass clarinets are basically complete, singing has been sung, drums have been dramatically and determinedly something beginning with D. Documentary evidence here!

May: a return to Rickenbacker’s in Berlin:

Is that Michael Ellis on keys?

March: Wayne and Sharon Yobbo’s greatest hit!

It’s the Will of the People! British people are the best! To celebrate Britain bravely taking back control of invisible ferries and banning foreigners, there’s a new single and a Rabid Rick Remix. Read Will’s single-issue manifesto right here, and heeeere’s Rabid Rick with all the latest bass solo news, as remixed by Wayne and Sharon O’Yobbo.

Who is Martin Gordon?

Bassist, composer, producer, incredulous bystander, wilful participant, personal friend of James Bond. Thrown out of Sparks, rejected by Jet, discarded by Radio Stars, spurned by the Rolling Stones, sneered at by Primal Scream, belittled by Kylie Minogue, ignored by Blur and accused of being a fashion victim by Boy George, his career has been a complete failure. Or maybe you’d care to stop by the alternative biog?

Solo releases

Martin Gordon’s solo career began with the release of the first part of the Mammal Trilogy ‘The Baboon in the Basement’ in 2003. Since then, he has not looked back, although he will not say why. The sixth and final part of the trilogy (‘Include Me Out’) was released in 2013. Some people say it was released on April Fool’s Day, but that’s what some people would say, isn’t it?

Here’s an album overview and a view of the simultaneously-published lyric book which covers Gordon’s entire career to date. Then came an album of Gilbert & Sullivan tunes, Brexit and Donald Trump. In March 2018, the next installment of the Post-Mammal Era (PME) emerged blinking into the fishy sunlight, in the shape of ‘Thanks For All the Fish‘. More recently, commentaries on Brexit and foot care have emerged blinking into the sunlight.

Communications & newsletter

A newsletter will occasionally drop into your virtual mailbox if there’s anything of interest going on. You gotta be able to read, though. Perhaps your cellmate can spell out the phonemes for you. You can leave us a note below, to which we will immediately respond.

Do you envy those who seem to have permanent and intimate connections to trend-mongers? You know what to do…. Sign up for the newsletter. And feel free to comment appropriately, or even inappropriately,  on anything you stumble across.

Be seeing you!

60 thoughts on “Welcome to Martin Gordon’s official website

  1. Cosmo

    Hello Martin. There is a stegosaurus running around in my house and spilling baked beans all over its shirt. Since I know you have a lot of experience with similar problems + years of mole-trapping under your belt, I was wondering if you could offer some advice. Are there any traps (LSD, perhaps?) that I could place to deter it from making a mess? Thank you and have a good day!

    Reply
    1. Martin Gordon Post author

      Well, Cosmo, the determining thing here is whether it’s foreign or not. If it is a good old-fashioned British stegosaurus (they are the best in the world, apparently) then the mess it’s making is an expression of democracy and is to be supported at all costs.

      If, on the other hand, it is a nasty little foreign thing, possibly wearing a beret or striped T-shirt, it can safely be exterminated or otherwise put out of it’s traitorous misery.

      Do you have a meteorite handy? That will do the job nicely. But please do it quickly, before it releases a third solo album about the future.

      Reply
  2. Furz Malwursthammer

    Hello Martin! Happy New Year you old fart! You come highly recommended! Tanzania, specifically Lake Tittybongo, has seen a proliferation in the mole population! There are now 2 of the little bastards hiding in the brush. At night they make strange howling sounds accompanied by the tinkling of what sounds like a cheap piano. I was informed that you have experience dealing with these annoying creatures and was hoping you could help us out! What do you think? Sorry about the “old fart” comment!

    Reply
    1. Martin Gordon Post author

      I do have much experience in mole-clearance, since you bring it up. I believe the most effective method is to stick a lit cigarette on the end of your nose, or guitar string, and mutter an incantation about it being good enough for God. This will probably drive them wild and they will soon scuttle off back to where they came from.

      If, as I assume, the cheap piano is a mbira, it will soon disintegrate into its component parts, and is nothing at all to worry about.

      Reply
  3. Robert Elliott

    I have been enjoying Thanks For All The Fish over the past couple of weeks or so. If enjoy is the right word given some of the subject matter.
    Unhapply, I must confess that last week into baked beans I did tuck. But, it is any consolation, it was a fairly disgusting experience. However I built some wall mounted IKEA shelving to that album. Whenever I look at that shelving I will think of Thanks For All The Fish.
    I had several attempts to get a tune played on 6Music but with no luck. Though I could be on a black list. Or you could be on a black list. It appears that the BBC have never played any Martin Gordon.

    Reply
    1. Martin Gordon Post author

      Celebrate the fact that you will soon be freed from foreign muck. I am glad that you replaced the continental shelf with something much more British, namely IKEA.

      You are right, 6Music remains terra incognita. Perhaps they think I am German and they would be letting the side down.

      Reply
  4. Duncan Fitzpoofter

    Hi Martin! This fishy dancing I’ve heard so much about, can you please tell us when it originated? Also, on Kimono My House, happily, I don’t recall any fishy bass playing. Very good!

    Reply
    1. Brian Busstop

      Ah, Mr Fitzpoofter, nice to hear from you! Are you by any chance connected to the Carlisle Fitzpoofters? I hope not, for your sake.

      The fishy dancing to which you refer – I believe it was first developed in the little-known region of London’s Shepherds Bush, in the 1990s. Little more is known about it, thankfully, other than that it is often accompanied by circular arm movements. The exact meaning of the arm movements remains a mystery.

      I understand that absolutely no research upon these movements is currently being undertaken, so they will no doubt continue to baffle for some considerable time.

      Reply

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