Got that familiar old bloated feeling? Clogged up more than you think advisable? Sensing rising pressure in the nether regions? Hoping to avoid an embarrassing accident, with possible unsightly stains? There is only one solution: treat yourself to a good old-fashioned dump!

Unload your burden! Better out than in! Follow our advice, rescue the world and save your blushes into the bargain! What’s not to like?!?

Follow the careful instructions in the following video as you vacate and then flush the proceeds down the toilet, never to be seen again. Grab a few rolls of your favourite quilted toilet paper as it flies over your head and hold tight! Soon it will all be over!!

A nice dump will sort you out, dear

As you head for the vomitorium, here’s some reading material to keep you company, extracted from recent insights provided by your favourite deranged but stable genius:

Greatly ratingsful:

“The coronavirus is very much under control in the USA.”

“Because of all we’ve done, the risk to the American people remains very low.”

“It’s going to disappear. One day it’s like a miracle, it will disappear.”

“We’re very close to a vaccine and we’re very close to therapeutics, really good therapeutics. But even without that, I don’t like to talk about that because it’s fading away.”

Donald Hilter he say:

“I think wearing a face mask as I greet presidents, prime ministers, dictators, kings, queens. I don’t know, somehow I don’t see it for myself. I just, I just don’t.”

A mind like a steel toilet:

“I see the disinfectant, where it knocks it out in a minute, one minute, and is there a way we can do something like that by injection inside, or almost a cleaning? Because you see it gets in the lungs and it does a tremendous number on the lungs, so it’d be interesting to check that.”

“When needed, I wear masks. I don’t wear a mask like (Joe Biden). Every time you see him, he’s got a mask. He could be speaking 200 feet away and he shows up with the biggest mask I’ve ever seen.”

Posterior blasts:

“Supposing we hit the body with a tremendous, whether it’s ultraviolet or just very powerful light … and then I said, supposing you brought the light inside the body, which you can do either through the skin or in some other way, and I think you said you’re going to test that too. It sounds interesting.”

“Nobody that isn’t a leader would do what I didn’t”.

“I think if this country gets any kinder or gentler, it’s literally going to cease to exist.”

More fun with idiots:

For more fun with idiocy, see COVIDIOTS:

And, if you’re on a roll, why not try on some serious jeans?