A setting of ghastly orange poetry to music.
|Madly! ||IT'S ALL THE RAGE! (single)|
Everybody's doing it, don't be left out.
|2021||It's All the Rage|
|Jeanius!||SUPERIOR JEANS (single)|
You know you have them, admit it. Suits you, sir.
Naturally you will end up with a Windows printer automatically connected to the remnants of your brain which spews out your innermost thoughts if you believe all this guff. Sheeple awake!
You won't believe what happened next, apparently.
|God!||GOD’S NOT GREAT (single)|
Apparently he isn’t. It’s just what people are saying. It’s what they say.
|2018||God’s Not Great|
|Fishy!||THANKS FOR ALL THE FISH |
We're off into the cosmos, matey. You know it makes sense.
|2018||Thanks For All The Fish|
|Schwenk!||GILBERT GORDON & SULLIVAN |
A lifelong admirer of the pudding-bowl-and-shorts approach to composition, Martin Gordon has often included one or two G&S tunes on his solo releases, but now he goes the whole hog with an entire album devoted to the pair’s eccentric output.
|2017||Gilbert Gordon & Sullivan|
Celebrating the Trump-like victory of idiocy over banana curvature, a rush-released single documented Brexit on March 29th 2017. Into baked beans we will now tuck! No more wogs, Walloons or Westphalians! Bring on the Idiots!
|2017||Brexit! Bananas! Baked Beans! Idiots!|
|Dump!||DUMP THE TRUMP! (single)|
Appalled by the Orange Nightmare, the single ‘Dump the Trump‘ was released just in time to have no effect whatsoever. The nightmare continues as Trump creates a Terrible Trump-Mess.
|2016||Dump the Trump|
|Gorn!||INCLUDE ME OUT |
And so, for the last time, here comes another installment of the Mammal Trilogy. Since the release of his ‘Time Gentlemen Please’ album in 2009, Gordon has lain low, observing proceedings with a jaundiced eye. Finally spurred into action by a combination of penury, misanthropy and an increasing hatred of ant-eaters (we do not include the entire species of the suborder Vermilingua, but specifically the genus Vermilingua peronatus singularis), he was driven to create ‘Include Me Out’ as the sixth part of the Mammal Trilogy.
|2013||Include Me Out|
|Orf!||EXCLUDE ME IN |
The demos, plus a bonus track, to the sixth part of the Mammal Trilogy. Unadorned, naked – this is how it all began. No orchestras here, matey. And dead butch, and full of camposity, naturally. Plus an extra tune which was taken out and unceremoniously shot in the back of the neck before the release of IMO.
|2013||Exclude Me In|
|Time!||TIME GENTLEMEN PLEASE |
The penultimate part of the Mammal Trilogy. Thrashing guitars, thrumming ukelele, raucous brass, double bass and bar-room piano provide the sonic back-drop. The sterling vocals of Swede Pelle Almgren are once again to the fore, and his glorious trademark harmonies are a career-best, especially on the über-ballad ‘21st Century Blues’.
|2009||Time Gentlemen Please|
|No time!||TIME GENTLEMEN PLEASE – DEMOS |
Behind-the-scenes eaves-dropping as Martin Gordon prepares his latest masterpiece. Demo versions of all tunes from the later album, and one which didn’t make it, thanks to the lady downstairs banging on the ceiling with a broomstick.
|2009||TGP – Demos|
|Baahston!||HELLO BOSTON! |
Martin Gordon’s live debut in 2007 in Boston. The temperature was high, the band wore shorts. But not Martin. Perish the thought! ‘The Captain of the Pinafore’ broke down, but the band was congratulated for their ‘choreographed simulacrum of chaos’. Now that’s what I call a sympathetic audience.
|Lob!||THE WORLD IS YOUR LOBSTER |
The fourth part of the Mammal Trilogy, featuring crustacean favourites for mammal and invertebrate alike. So, it’s about that time again. This Nobel Prize-winning former stand-in for Charles Atlas and personal friend of James Bond once again lays it fearlessly on the line. He wrestles with la condition humaine in his accustomed manner, but will never really come to terms with it. His existential angst is merely disguised as joi de vivre, as Brian Trubshaw used to say, and it is upon the iconoclastic work of Mr Trubshaw that this release is firmly based.
|2007||The World is Your Lobster|
|How?||HOW AM I DOING SO FAR? |
‘Best of’ MG compilation at mid-price. Better than being snorted by Keith Richards. Featured on this compendium of aural delights are songs about Nigerian email scams, technology (he has ‘missed the universal serial buss’, he rather implausibly claims at one point), relationships with alien lovelies, Heaven run by the Germans, age as a cricketing metaphor, marital problems, xenophobia, instant fame and of course the title track, in which he wonders why despite his plethora of gold chains and mobile phones, nobody takes him seriously. Based pointedly on the groundbreaking hair-politics of Barrington Womble.
|2006||How Am I Doing So Far?|
|Who?||GOD’S ON HIS LUNCHBREAK |
Third solo release. A spot of Gilbert and Sullivan (that’s ‘and’ and not ‘O’), a McCartney tunes and a bunch more. And God smoking a spliff, for those who are keenly observant and atheist. Based deceptively loosely on the work of George Best the philosophising footballer.
|2005||God’s Not Great|
|Book!||GOD’S ON HIS LUNCHBREAK COMPANION VOLUME |
What? You can read? Marvellous! Got a companion? Well, you can read it together. Haven’t got one? – buy this and you soon will have. Fully illustrated by Chris Townson with the various characters appearing in God’s on His Lunchbreak, with the full lyrics to the tunes and the Story Behind the Creation of God. Based (tremendously loosely) on the works of Nigel Farage, as he then was not yet.
|2005||The Companion Volume to God’s on His Lunchbreak|
|Hog!||THE JOY OF MORE HOGWASH |
Second solo. Based (even more loosely) on Alex Comfort’s magnificent work of sexual philosophy ‘The Joy of Sex’, and even more loosely upon his follow-up ‘More Joy of Sex’, it contains a Beatles tune, a cover of Mel Brook’s ‘Love Power’ from his film The Producers, and some more things to boot.
|2004||The Joy of More Hogwash|
|Bab!||THE BABOON IN THE BASEMENT |
Based (loosely) on Brian Jung’s notion of the collective underpants. We all have underpants in our basements.
|2003||The Baboon in the Basement|
|Box!||THINKING INSIDE THE BOX |
The collected works of Radio Stars, squeezed onto 4 CDs and stuffed into a box.
|2017||Thinking Inside the Box|
|Weekend!||SOMETHING FOR THE WEEKEND |
Radio Stars hurtled around the UK in 1977 and 78 performing their greatest hit and accompanied by the frankly unclad Kelly St John, just as they are on the cover. Some people thought this sexist, but some people would think that, wouldn’t they…
|2008||Something For The Weekend / Radio Stars|
|Budget!||TWO MINUTES MR SMITH |
A rather strange compilation – first off the starting blocks, so one cannot be too dismissive. Now long out of print.
|1982||Two Minutes Mr Smith|
|Where?||SOMEWHERE THERE’S A PLACE FOR US |
A compilation of the band’s finest fishing songs, complete with heartwarming tales of fishermen’s jumpers, lighthouses, gabardine coats and rubber underwear. Even includes unreleased tunes (four, to be precise), one tune which was ‘not released properly’ and the elusive ‘Accountancy Blues’, the lyrics of which appeared inside the Holiday Album but not the track itself. But now it does.
|1990||Somewhere There’s a Place For Us / Radio Stars|
|Holiday!||HOLIDAY ALBUM |
Second album from the band, now entering their ‘Age of Unpleasantness’ phase, from which they would not recover. They went on tour, in support of the album, but nobody could find it in the shops. In a vain attempt to ignore reality, they extended the tour, in the hope that one day their album would come. But it didn’t.
|1978/2010||Holiday Album / Radio Stars|
|Swing!||SONGS FOR SWINGING LOVERS |
Jet, by any other name. Here’s what one perceptive commentator recently noted. This was the first album from the slightly-recast Jet, and jolly damn good it was too. Carefully leaving out their almost hit ‘Dirty Pictures’, and and equally thoughtfully striking their second almost hit ‘No Russians’ from the track listing, the band defied the odds. ‘We defy you, odds!’ they would shout, literally.
|1977/2010||Songs For Swinging Lovers / Radio Stars|
|Herring!||MUSIC FOR THE HERD OF HERRING |
Actually it is unclear who the artist is here. Radio Stars? Jet? John’s Children? Or all of them simultaneously and also at the same time? It remains a mystery.
|2000||Music for the Herd of Herring / All of Them|
|Hope!||NEW HOPE FOR THE DEAD |
Recorded around the world at great expense to wallets and friendships, New Hope for the Dead began life as a stage performance, featuring dancers, a live band, computer graphics, a trapeze artist, a break dancer, a martial artist and an aardvark.
|2008||New Hope for the Dead / Mira|
|Full colour!||BLACK AND WHITE/JOHN’S CHILDREN |
It is indeed black and white, has a picture of Radio Stars at the Reading Festival in 1978 on the cover, features a Blue Meanies tune and consequently has a very tightly-focussed artistic vision.
|2008||Black and White / John’s Children|
|Pop!||POP SENSIBILITY/BLUE MEANIES |
They had no integrity, they had no ability, their bank was in love with them. Yeahhh! Short-lived but fondly remembered foray into pop music. Did you know that their solitary TV appearance was presented by a man dressed as a parrot? Well, it was.
|2007||Pop Sensibility / Blue Meanies|
|O'No!||EVEN MORE LIGHT THAN SHADE |
Compendium of both albums, remastered from original 1/4″ master tapes with added bonus tracks. Withdrawn due to interference.
|2016||Even More Light Than Shade (release withdrawn) / Jet|
|Prat!||MORE LIGHT THAN SHADE |
The same, but more so. Before being withdrawn from the market due to legal anteaters, this collection contained the band’s demos for the second , but never realised, Jet album.
|2001||More Light Than Shade / Jet|
Anteaters, idiots and more make-up than you can shake a cheekbone highlighter at. What is there to say about Jet that either wasn’t said at the time or hasn’t subsequently been said? Jet were the first supergroup of glam, as any fule kno, it says so.
|1975/2001||Jet / Jet|
|Vulture!||KIMONO MY HOUSE |
MC Stalin vs. DJ Molotov. May the best cadre win. It is an album by, and about, Moles. You like Moles? Well, you’re in the right place. It was recorded in 1973. It’s unearthly beauty remains undimmed with the assistance of wigs and other prosthetic devices. Take a bit of butch guitar, add some twee vocals and one-finger cabaret piano, douse liberally in opinionatedness, light the touch-paper and retire (but not literally).
|Kimono My House / Sparks|