Following the general principle of “A Little Stupidity Goes A Long Way”, this correspondence ended up providing the basic material for the song “(Oh Dear What Can we Do) Daddy Lost His Head In A Coup” from The Joy Of More Hogwash…
It’s chronological. And unedited. Not even a bit.
From: kone moussa <k_moussa@go.com>
Date: Tue, 27 May 2003 20:49:42 -0700 (PDT)
To: designegenius@juno.com
Subject: Hello sir
Sir,
REQUEST FOR URGENT BUSINESS TRANSACTION, ASSISTANCE TO TRANSFER $19.5MILLION U.S. DOLLARS, INTO YOUR COMPANY’S ACCOUNT
We got information about you from the internet. We are in urgent need of your assistance in a pending business transaction which requires immediate execution under strict confidentiality.
We are highly placed officials of the Civilian Government of Nigeria Federal Ministry of Aviation vested with the onus of awarding Government contracts, reviewing previously awarded contracts and making necessary recommendations for all contract payments. Since we took up these appointments. we have found that a generality of contracts awarded by our predecessors were deliberately over-invoiced by these officials with a view to claiming the excess after the real payments had been made. However, the new Government authorities took these officials by surprise and retired them before they could make plans to claim the money. All in all, we uncovered an outstanding sum of US$19.5M (Nineteen point Five Million United State Dollars Only) that is presently in the Ministry’s suspense account with the Central Bank of Nigeria from where payments for all completed contracts are now being effected as is the usual tradition here concerning all government contracts.
We have been waiting for an appropriate time for the money to be safely transferred into a foreign account for consequent disbursement with the account owner. Now, the new administration has directed that all debts owned to foreign contractors by the Government should be paid by the Authorities in Pursuance of the Economic reconciliation programmes of the present government.
On the strength of this order, my colleagues and l have deemed it necessary now to ask for your co-operation to enable us file in applications on your behalf claming that you are a bonafide beneficiary of this US$19.5M consequent upon the completion of a contract awarded by the past administration several years back. Rest assured that no one will doubt these claims as proper and adequate documentation will be used to back it up. Besides, our positions here confer on us the right to certify and approve any duly executed contract for payment.
However, to enable us seek approvals for the transfer of this money into your account, we need the following vital information.
1. Name of Bank, Name of Account, Bank Telexand Telefax Numbers.
2. The Swift Number, Number of your Account and your Personal/Company’s Tele/fax Number.
3. Together with your te/fax number including your private telephone.
These documents should be email to me immediately you indicate your interest in this project to enable the Federal Government to approve all the relevant documents. We have agreed that your company retain 30% of the total sum, 10% has been set aside to off-set any expenses that we may incure, while we would take the remaining 60% of the $19,500,000.00 United State Dollars.
Please be assured that this project is not in any way a risky one. Besides adequate measures have been put in place to ensure that there will be no evidence of the transaction left in any government office immediately the money has reached your account. With your full co-operation, the transfer would be concluded within a period of ten working days.
Finally, it is very essential that you maintain strict confidentiality over this deal as maximum security measures are required to ensure our success. lf we do not hear from you in the next four weeks, we might be compelled to contact some other foreigner due to the degree of attention this project requires
For further enquiries contact me via email.
Attention
MR.K MOUSSA
From: “Martin Gordon” <martingordon@hotmail.com>
To: “kone moussa” <k_moussa@go.com>
Date: Wed May 28 13:06:19 PDT 2003
Subject: Re: Hello sir
Dear Mrs Moose
I am vey pleased that you have chose me as your foreigner as the due amount of attention etc. Thank you for the trut you have show in me. In order for you to transfer the amount of 19 million dollard to my accout, please tell me what you want from me. You will find me a hardwrking and confident buiness partner in this matter.
I remind, dear Mrs Moose,
your Martin Gordon
From: kone moussa <k_moussa@go.com>
Date: Thu, 29 May 2003 12:01:29 -0700 (PDT)
To: Martin Gordon <martingordon@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Re: Hello sir
Dear Martin Gordon,
Thanks for your understanding and concern. Can i have your phone number because we need to talk.
Please, i will be waiting.
Best regards,
Moussa.
From: “Martin Gordon” <martingordon@hotmail.com>
To: “kone moussa”
Date: Thu May 29 17:25:29 PDT 2003
Subject: Re: Hello sir
Hello Dr Moose
Thanks you for your kind attention to this matter of the 90 million dollars to pay to my account. Please, assure me of your good faith in this matter and then I will kindly furnish You and Yrs, with any details that You require including the tel No., bank details and other important Informations.
Looking forward to your reply on this matter as an importane.
I sent to you, Dr Moose, my regrades
from your Martin Gordon
From: kone moussa <k_moussa@go.com>
Date: Fri, 30 May 2003 05:03:38 -0700 (PDT)
To: Martin Gordon <martingordon@hotmail.com>
Subject: Re: Re: Hello sir
Dear Martin Gordon,
I thank you very much for your concern in this business.As you may likely want to know this business is 100% real and risk free,i give you my 100% assurance, and sincerely speaking,i contacted you for this business in good faith. Like i have a trust in you in this business, i will also ask you to trust me too as we are in for a good friendship and relationship. Please, let do this as we will be very grateful to each other at the end. I will be waiting for the informations.
Best regards,
moussa.
From: “Martin Gordon” <martingordon@hotmail.com>
To: “kone moussa” <k_moussa@go.com>
Date: Fri May 30 09:25:30 PDT 2003
Subject: Re: Hello sir
Hello Dear Dr Moose
Thanks you for your Infomations. My Infomations (bank accounts, personell detail ect.) follow. I would like to know if I will be needing a Company to recieve the 99 million dollard that You and Yrs. refer to, if so I am not to sure about how to arrnge it.
Can you please tell me the Infomation where the money is know? Perhps it is better that I just go and collect it for you there, then there will be not further compilations with bank accounts document and that detail.
I am very greatful to you at the end as you say and remind
your MARTIN GORDON
Please, I have looked in the Nigeria webite for checking the Onus Of Minitry of Infomation but there is no message there re: 99 million dullard. I think that this is a good sign and I put my Trut in you as I mentined in my Previous Correspondene.
From: kone moussa <k_moussa@go.com>
Date: Sat, 31 May 2003 01:58:17 -0700 (PDT)
To: Martin Gordon <martingordon@hotmail.com>
Subject: Re: Re: Hello sir
Dear Martin Gordon,
Thanks for your mail. I think we need to talk, can i have your phone number. I need to explain things to you better. Waiting for your phone number.
Best Regards,
moussa
NB..The money is not 90million. it is 19.5million.
From: Martin Gordon <martingordon@hotmail.com>
Date: Sat, 31 May 2003 12:27:05 +0100
To: kone moussa <k_moussa@go.com>
Subject: Re: Hello sir
Dear Dr Moose
Thanks you for Your Imformations. 19 million dullard is better than 90 million dullard, I must say ands please accept my Apologys for the Confusiong. Please I will must contate you regarding the Nature of the Transacting and the Details to follow. Please let me have your Phone Number and I will call you immediately ASAP.
I hope you and Yrs. will not be compelled to contate some other foreigner due to the degree of attention this project requires as mentined in Yr. correspondene.
I will be waiting for your number today. I look foward to your reply on this matter of importane as a matter of some Importane and assure you that I remind
Your Martin Gordon
IE I have my Bank numberTelexand Telefax Numbers. and all other detail here but am not certain re: to email it to You and Yrs. in the manner of how it works with the telephone and emailing. Pls. allow to me to phone you at my earliest possibule Conveniene.
From: “Martin Gordon”<martingordon@hotmail.com>
To: k_moussa@go.com
Date: Mon Jun 02 07:17:07 PDT 2003
Subject: Quite Angry About This
Dr Moose
I have requited Your telephone Number but despite our prostrated conversation by email You have not seen fit to Reply to my Query Please I will ask you one more time to Kindly furnish with Contate number that we can discuss this Matter at our earliest possible conveniene.
Remind
Martin Gordon
PS It is alright about the 19 not so 90 million dullards, I understand that you and Yrs. must also make a living like the next person. Please don’t not Dissappoint in The Matter.
From: kone moussa <k_moussa@go.com>
To: Martin Gordon <martingordon@hotmail.com>
Subject: Re: Quite Angry About This
Date: Tue, 03 Jun 2003 02:17:49 -0700 (PDT)
Dear Gordon,
I am a very serious and carefull man,so i hadly make mistakes. sI have spent time and money to work out things and i would not want anybody to spoil things for me. It is better to be late than never. For this transaction to work out you have to follow my instructions strictly. You know i am a cevil servant, so i have to be careful. I have already told you to send me your phone number first, if you are not ready to do this, there is no point contacting me again.
Moussa
From: “martin gordon” <martingordon@hotmail.com>
To: k_moussa@go.com
Subject: Better Late Than Later
Date: Tue, 03 Jun 2003 10:55:10 +0000
Dear Moose
I see you are a carefull man and cevil servant as well. It is a very strit thing toi be a sevil servant so I am will to follow your Intrution as to the Thing that we should do. I think that you should be sending the number to me of the bank or Minirty and then I will continue from there as it is better for you´re Carrier as servil sevant that there is nothing that can go wrong or report to the Police or Secrit Service, then you hang up by your feet and beaten with thin sticks of wood, but I don’t kno how they are called.
Send me Your Numner by ASAP or else I will have to think of a different way to avoid informing the Authority at the Minitry.
I am Martin Gordon
From: “martin gordon” <martingordon@hotmail.com>
Date: Tue, 03 Jun 2003 13:24:12 +0000
To: martingordon@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Better Late Than Later
Moose
I noting that you have not reply to my kind Comminication of the today datum. I am trying to contate you at the Minitry but they are saying that there is nobody there by your name, but perhap it is because you are the servil servant that it is all secrit. I am also trying by the Central Bank in Lagos but they are telling me alos that they are not having your name on this expence account. By the Lagos Police Headqauters there is a bit more imformation but I don’t know if You or not the numer is 017345673476. When I am trying it there is just a lady who is not hearing me what I say so the convertion is not getting along vbery well. I am still waiting here for your proper moblie numer, please send it to me know I am here and waiting for it then we can avoid this unpleaseantnene.
Come on, Moose, I remind
Martin Gordon
From: kone moussa <k_moussa@go.com>
Date: Wed, 04 Jun 2003 07:41:41 -0700 (PDT)
To: martin gordon <martingordon@hotmail.com>
Subject: Re: Better Late Than Later
Dear Mathin Gordon,
How are you doing? You are quite a character, strong willed and very intelligent. But why can’t you simply send your phone number to me first and please my name is not moose but moussa. Something inside tells me you are the right person for this job. Just send me your phone number and i will call you immidiately. Have a nice day.
Moussa
From: Martin Gordon <martingordon@hotmail.com>
Date: Wed, 04 Jun 2003 18:37:39 +0100
To: kone moussa <k_moussa@go.com>
Subject: Just The Job
Dear Mr Cone
(Sorry about the moose, it seem to be like a mistake). I am having the tempry difficulty with phone service, as my late wife have not been paying the full amount of charges. Thus I am verry intrested in the implication of job emplyment offer that You and Yrs. have kindly offered to me. Pls. kindly explain exaclty what the dutys entail and the detail of what they are. Thanks for Yr. kind wishs.
I am
Mathin Gordon
From: kone moussa <k_moussa@go.com>
Date: Thu, 05 Jun 2003 02:02:16 -0700 (PDT)
To: Martin Gordon <martingordon@hotmail.com>
Subject: Re: Just The Job
Dear Martin Gordon,
Are you telling me that you have no telephone number? anyway my friend should we come to a compromise, i am to send to you every documentation regarding this transaction. You need to have a phone and fax number to be able to conclude this transaction, i am sorry to inform you that if you do not have a phone and fax number there is no way you can fit into my plans. Martin Gordons if you want us to talk, let me have a phone number where i can reach you. Accept my sincere condolence for the demise of your wife. How are you managing without your wife? and please i am indeed very curiouse to know more about you.Just tell me a little bit about yourself. Have a nice day.
Moussa
More of this Moose Mess