IDIOTS
The Brits said no to Belgian domination
Flemish command of our pyjamas
We’ll bring control of fruit back to the nation
Maintain the curve of our bananas
And that is that
We’ll squash you flat
And we said no to Brussels and to aliens
Although we haven’t thought it through
Don’t want no wogs, no Walloons or Westphalians
Just plain folks like me and you
And that is that
We’ll squash you flat
Idiots here, idiots there
Idiots every bleeding where
Idiots wrong and idiots right
Will the last idiot please switch out the light?
The French eat frogs and chomp their way through snail meat
Eyetalians live upon salami
The smell’s appalling, garlic mixed with sweaty feet
Designed to send us all quite barmy
No more foreign muck
Into baked beans we will now tuck
Idiots here, idiots there
Idiots every bleeding where
Idiots wrong and idiots right
Will the last idiot please switch out the light?
So we unscrew the continental shelf
And bringing it crashing to the floor
But have no fears about our mental health
The white coat men are at the door
They’re taking us away
They’ll be right back for Mrs May
Idiots here idiots there
Idiots every bleeding where
Idiots wrong and idiots right
Will the last idiot please switch out the light?
Will the last idiot please switch out the light?
More of this lyrical idiocy…