Drawing inspiration from Gilbert and Sullivan’s nautical masterpiece, Resident Chump and his muscle-bound boys romp through an inspired assessment of how it’s all going and, not surprisingly, decide that it’s all going very well, in fact better than it ever went ever before. Everybody knows this.
Pink Oboe
Essaying his Residential trademark the pink-oboe-player dance, the Resident stumbles through a litany of self-serving nautical statements, none of which have anything at all to do with any so-called ‘files’. In fact ‘files’ are the last thing on the Resident’s mind, as most people would agree.
File Under Cake
Files are definitely not on the musical menu in any way, people should now move on from files and consider, for example, whether a file would fit inside a cake. Or they could research which kind of file is particularly appropriate for cutting through steel bars. The Resident is now far more focused on his mega-bunker and his imperial bathroom, which will be the finest bathroom ever used by an incontinent octogenarian in world history, or probably anywhere in the universe.
Tiles, Not Files, You Idiot
The remains of the Resident’s mind are preoccupied with the thorny issue of which tiles should be used in the construction of the bathroom, especially as the word ‘tiles’ sounds very much like the word ‘files’. He is not thinking about files at all, not even a bit. It is simple to convert a tile into a file, by the way – you simply throw away the ’t’, nobody needs it, and replace it with an ‘f’. There is no ‘b’ in the word file, by the way, most people are unaware of that. There is a rumoured ‘b’ in the word bile, so people say, but the Resident is in perfect health and so words like bile don’t even come into it. The Resident is planning no trips to Egypt to see any rivers at all for the foreseeable future.