Still waiting for a good dump?

His jeans are superior. Are yours?

I carn ‘ear ya!

OMG! Not gonna lie! Read all about the latest album here. The reviews are pouring in, including reports from ‘highly-respected music specialists’ Mario Ironmog, Igor Torm, Ramin Dongrat and, of course, Mad ‘Rod’ Drongo.

Words Alert!

Words in Your Shell-Like – all the lyrics to everything, ever!


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Who is Martin Gordon?

Bassist, composer, producer, incredulous bystander, wilful participant, personal friend of James Bond. Thrown out of Sparks, rejected by Jet, discarded by Radio Stars, spurned by the Rolling Stones, sneered at by Primal Scream, belittled by Kylie Minogue, ignored by Blur and accused of being a fashion victim by Boy George, his career has been a complete failure. 

Or maybe you’d care to stop by the alternative biog? Or there’s the discography, with all those groups, the music, the video and the vegetables.

Watch this video on YouTube.

Solo releases

Martin Gordon’s solo career began with the release of the first part of the Mammal Trilogy (‘The Baboon in the Basement’) in 2003. Since then, he has not looked back, although he will not say why. The sixth and final part of the trilogy (‘Include Me Out’) was released in 2013. Some people say it was released on April Fool’s Day, but that’s what some people would say, isn’t it?

Here’s an album overview and a view of the simultaneously-published lyric book which covers Gordon’s entire career to date. The conclusion of the Mammal Era brought an album of Gilbert & Sullivan tunes, Brexit and Donald Trump, although Gordon stoutly denies any involvement in the latter. In March 2018, the first installment of the Post-Mammal Era (PME) emerged blinking into the fishy sunlight, in the shape of ‘Thanks For All the Fish‘. More recently, the second installment ‘OMG‘ followed in early 2020.


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87 thoughts on “Homepage

  1. Cosmo

    Hello again Martin. Some time ago, I asked you for advice on dealing with baked beans-spilling stegosauruses. It worked, but now the scent of its hide is attracting moles. Is there any way to remove them from my home forever? Thanks.

    P.S. I am a robot. Your captcha was very confusing but luckily my handler did it for me. I appreciated your song “Drone” very much, as there are very few songs about my kind – especially those of us who have nice sets of built-in weaponry and surveillance equipment.

    1. MG

      Dear Mr Robot,

      Unfortunately, your fate is to be followed by moles for the rest of your time here on the planet. Nothing that you do will shake you free from the dread mole-clutch, as it is referred to by those in the know, or hole.

      I am glad that you managed to hover over the captcha long enough to unlock it. Did you loose off a few didactic tracer rounds just to be on the safe side? I would have done, in your position.

  2. Euclid

    Hello Martin! Wonderful news about your new album, isn’t it? We think so! I’m curious, what does he mean when he says “Since then, he has not looked back, although he will not say why.” I think I know why. After playing with so many “A” and “B” list musicians and a couple of old moles, we think he is pining to play with his old chums the moles and an “O” list guitar player who’s name escapes me. What a grand time that would be! Tranquility rules! Time for a reunion!

    1. MG

      Never look forwards, never look back. Just look left, look right, and then look out in case there are any people from the O list on the horizon. And then it’s straight on till dawn! OMG!

  3. MG

    You are right in that this is what some people think, certainly. But some people would think that, wouldn’t they…? Is there not a little piece of Velocipoofter in us all?

  4. Dr Grant

    Some people think that moles are the distant relative of a frightening dinosaur that some other people call “The Velocipoofter.” These vicious thugs of the late Cretaceous were known to bully the mild mannered Stegopotamus and drink lots of dragonfly blood. Kind of like the druids, am I right?


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